Man becomes lawyer after life-and-death bouts with anxiety, depression

Note: This article has mentions of depression, anxiety, and suicide ideations.

MANILA — After almost losing his life to anxiety and depression, a 30-year-old graduate from the Palawan State University School of Law survived—and won—yet another battle: the 2023 Bar exams.

Romar Miranda became a lawyer six years after he was admitted in a psychiatric ward after attempting to take his own life. He was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression in 2013.

“I’ve been surviving for more than a decade,” Miranda said, admitting that he battled with his mental health issues alone as it is not something he and his family “talk about in the dinner table.”

“I didn’t tell my parents. I also told my sister to not tell my parents. Because, you know, they might be worried. I was afraid that they wouldn’t understand… I was afraid that my parents would take it differently because I was loved, I was loved growing up. They are very supportive,” Miranda said.

“I don’t know how to answer if they ask if it was them. It will break my heart. And I don’t know what to tell them, that it was this cruel world that gave me these mental health issues. I don’t know how to tell them that,” he added.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), generalized anxiety disorder is the “persistent and excessive worry about daily activities or events” while depression “involves a depressed mood or loss of pleasure or interest in activities for long periods of time” which can cause “difficulties in all aspects of life.”

The WHO also said people who faced difficulties in life like death of a loved one, unemployment, and other traumatic events are more likely to develop depression.
 
For Miranda, it was mostly his “journey in my adult life that has caused my mental health issues.”

Law school journey

After almost giving up on his life in 2017, Miranda proved he is more than his mental health issues by successfully passing this year’s Bar exams, all while writing for a local paper.

But being a lawyer was not part of his original plan.

He graduated with a degree in Biology and even went to medical school because he wanted to be a doctor. But he later felt like he was forcing things and it eventually triggered his mental health issues as he was not able to realize his “childhood dream.”

“I struggled with my mental health because I’ve always been stubborn, I needed to control things. And when things didn’t [go] my way, I would get upset about it. I would be depressed about it… That’s how little things [would] pile up and pile up and pile up until eventually, it became a mountain. It became the entire thing that made your mental health crumble,” he said.

“I struggled with letting go, until now I think I do,” he added. 
While he thought of quitting law school several times, he said it felt like it was the direction he was called to go to. 

“As a journalist, I have heard several stories, I’ve written stories about injustices here locally… and I thought I was called for that purpose. That’s where I was leaning towards. So, I had no business to quit... If you know from deep inside, if you have that calling, there is little light inside of you, telling you to do things and the universe just aligns in your favor to do that and you’re just going to quit?” he said.

“It was a good damage because it has to amount to something. So me wanting to quit a thousand times should not stop what the universe has imposed upon me to do. I have no business saying no to that,” he said.

As a lawyer, Miranda said he would like to focus on environmental law, indigenous peoples right, and human rights.

'Kind world'

Conquering inner demons take a lot of courage and a different level of strength, but Miranda is a testament that it can be done.

And despite experiencing the cruelty of the world, he still called on people who are struggling with mental health to believe that there is still kindness amid all the pain.

“You have to find that inspiration that light within you in order for you to be better because you can… you have to believe that this is still a good, kind world. And it is still better with you in it no matter how insignificant you think your life is.”

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